


Do Soulmates Exist?

by Emotionallyunstabl



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, SOULMATE TIMERS, Social Media, media, reality kinda, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 01:36:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13753503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emotionallyunstabl/pseuds/Emotionallyunstabl
Summary: Ryan Ross’ timer went off when he was nineteen. He had just met Brendon Urie.Brendon’s timer, however, did not go off.





	Do Soulmates Exist?

**Author's Note:**

> No disrespect is meant to Sarah, I bow down to her. This is purely a work of fiction.

Ryan's timer stopped when he was nineteen.

He had met Spencer's friend, Brendon, when he looked him in those gorgeous brown eyes, and his timer went off. A loud noise that everyone heard, Spencer, Jon, and Brendon included. He remembers Brendon's eyes in that moment, wide and confused.

He remembers seeing Brendon's own watch, seeing it set some thirteen years into the future.

They dated for a while, all while continuing the band. They were happy, but Brendon refused to announce their relationship until his timer had ticked to zero. 

Ryan covered up his timer, always wearing a watch or wrist band.

Ryan was scared, scared that he was one of the people with a soulmate who wasn't theirs. He hoped, and hoped that their timers were for each other, just different times.

Years went by, and Ryan's watch stayed the same, while Brendon's still stayed too far away. Years went by, and their relationship was put under the strain of keeping it a secret. 

Years went by, and they broke up, breaking up the band with them.

Ryan broke up with his soulmate.

***

Brendon eventually got with Sarah, and married her.

Only four years later.

On the lonely nights that Ryan stalked Brendon's Instagram, he couldn't help but wonder if the same thing happened with Sarah. Brendon's timer couldn't have gone off yet, but had Sarah's?

Was Sarah also living the same dread as Ryan?

Or were they actually soulmates?

Was Ryan's soulmate someone else's?

***

Brendon's timer still hadn't gone off, neither had Sarah's. 

They both knew this, and they didn't mind. At least, that's what they said when they first started dating. Their casual dating escalated very quickly, and now Sarah was Sarah Urie, and had been for several years.

Brendon saw Sarah's clock very rarely, the past time he saw it was probably two years ago, he didn't remember when it was planning on going off. Maybe it already had gone off? When he wasn't there? But, surely Sarah would've told him, wouldn't she?

He thought of Ryan, whom he was the soulmate of.

He hadn't spoken to him in years.

"Hey, Bren?" He looked up at his wife, who was all dressed up and looking pretty.

"Yes, beautiful?" Brendon replied with a grin.

"Do you wanna go to Starbucks?" She asked. "The coffee machine is broken." She explained.

"Sure." Brendon agreed, grabbing his keys. 

The trip to the cafe was a short one, filled with Brendon obnoxiously singing along to Fall Out Boy, and Sarah sighing at him. They parked out the front of the coffee shopped, and walked in, the smell of coffee filling their noses.

They were in conversation when they got to the front of the que, and Sarah turned to face the barista.

Immediately, an alarm goes off.

More importantly, Sarah and the barista's alarm goes off.

Brendon froze, and Sarah couldn't look away from her soulmate. Sarah had met her soulmate. Brendon turned and left the Starbucks, without a word to either of them.

He left the car for Sarah, and walked to the nearest station, people discreetly taking photos of him as he passed. Brendon was numb, he couldn't feel a thing. Without his own control, his mind drifted to Ryan.

Was this how he felt, when his soulmate's timer didn't match up? No. Brendon shook himself, Ryan had it worse, Ryan had it much worse. Sarah wasn't even Brendon's soulmate.

Ryan's soulmate wouldn't even talk to him anymore.

Brendon sunk to his knees on the side of the road, he had never felt more like a dick. He checked his phone; no calls from Sarah. He closed his eyes and dug his palms into them.

He wanted to check his own timer, wanted to so badly it hurt. But he also didn't, knew that if he did, he would probably stuff it up.

Because that's what Brendon did; stuff shit up.

He stuffed it up with Ryan, and now he stuffed it up with Sarah by running away. 

Should he check his wrist? Surely, even he couldn't fuck up fate. The call of the void was too strong for Brendon in that moment, he turned into a deserted alley and started to undo the band he wore around his wrist.

13 days 14 hours 46 minutes 25 seconds 

13 days 14 hours 46 minutes 24 seconds 

13 days 14 hours 46 minutes 23 seconds 

Brendon blinked, he just realised how long it had been since he had paid any attention to the small red digits on his wrist. In fact, it had been so long, he couldn't even remember a time when there wasn't a 'years' category. But it was plain as anything, he was going to meet his soulmate is just under two weeks.

What. The. Fuck.

Brendon took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. So far, he hadn't had a good run with soulmates; he was Ryan's but Ryan wasn't his, and he just ran away from his wife after she found hers. 

He checked his phone again:

No notifications.

He unlocked it, and did a quick search for the nearest hotel. 

10 minutes away.

He pulled himself together, and walked out of the alley way and towards the hotel. Away from the Starbucks.

***

Whiskey.

Beer.

Tequila.

One unknown drink, labeled entirely in Japanese.

What ever had copious amounts of alcohol in it, you could bet on Brendon having it in his hands and drinking it. So many things were on his mind, the alcohol helped; made it seem more normal.

Ryan, Sarah, soulmates, Ryan, timers, Ryan, room service's alcohol policy, and Ryan; were some of the things on his mind. If Brendon wasn't so drunk, he would probably be feeling guilty about thinking of his ex more than his wife. If Brendon wasn't so drunk, he might've realised that Sarah hadn't called him since Starbucks.

Eventually, Brendon ran out of liquor, and fell asleep. So drunk and hungover, he couldn't even remember how long he'd stayed awake, or how long he'd stayed asleep. 

Brendon didn't even know if it was before sunrise or after sunset.

He did know that he needed more alcohol. Already not able to buy from room service, and the three nearest liquor stores, he headed to a bar.

For the full two hours it lasted (before he got recognised) Brendon wasn't allowed to order his preferred amount of drink. Swearing under his breath, he ignored the fan and the bartender, and left the building.

He look the long way back to the hotel, under bridges and through alleys, where he was less likely to be spotted.

On the walk to the hotel, his mind drifted onto the topic of soulmates. What was the date again? He was itching to pull back the band covering his timer. He stood underneath a bridge, where even the homeless didn't like the lurk, and pulled it back.

13 seconds

12 seconds

11 seconds

Shit.

He heard muffled footsteps behind him, he felt like throwing up. The footsteps stopped abruptly.

"Brendon?"

Nothing. Absolutely nothing could have prepared Brendon for that voice. The shock of it all made him spin around in surprise.

He realised his mistake after it was too late.

He made eye contact with his ex boyfriend, and his timer went off, the sound echoing around the underside of the bridge.

Ryan's eyes widened, and Brendon felt like he was going to through up. Extremely inebriated and wanting nothing more than to disappear off the face of the earth, he managed to speak. "Fuck." He said, before his vision went black.

***

He woke up in a bed.

It wasn't his bed, or the hotel bed, or even a hospital bed. This bed was warm, safe. He breathed in, and immediately all of the memories from yesterday came flooding back.

Ryan was his soulmate.

Well, shit.

He heard movement towards a doorway, and sat up to see Ryan there, leaning against the wall expectantly. The two stayed there, in silence before Ryan spoke.

"How's Sarah?" Ryan asked, monotonously, as if trying to hide his emotions from Brendon.

This question made Brendon's morning brain confused. He paused for a second, before questioning Ryan in return. "How do you know about Sarah?" He asked.

Ryan rolled his eyes. "I've known you were my soulmate since I was nineteen," he reminded him, "forgive me if I googled you a few times." He said sarcastically.

Brendon nodded. "She found her soulmate." He commented after a while.

"Ahh," Ryan mused, without any emotion behind it. "When?"

Brendon shrugged. "About two weeks ago, in a Starbucks, I ran away and haven't spoken to her since."

Ryan sighed at him. "Well that was fucking stupid."

Brendon shrugged again. "I'm not known for making the smartest of decisions." He stated, looking meaningfully at him.

Ryan shook his head. After a minute or two, he spoke again. "So, what are you going to do?" He asked.

Brendon scrunched up his face. "What do you mean?"

Ryan raised his eyebrows at him. "You haven't spoken to your wife in two weeks, and you've just found out your soulmate is your ex boyfriend and ex band member." Ryan stated obviously.

"So?" Brendon asked, stupidly.

"So!" Ryan repeated, annoyed. "So, you're Brendon fucking Urie, the whole public is watching you." 

Brendon groaned. "Who cares about the fucking public?" He asked.

"You." He pointed out. "That's why we broke up."

Brendon sighed, and rubbed his face. "We shouldn't have done that," he commented, "it would've made this a hell of a lot easier." 

Something flickered behind Ryan's eyes that was gone immediately. "You didn't answer me." He said.

Brendon screamed into the pillow beside him. "I don't fucking know what I'm going to do!" He said, flopping back down onto the mattress.

Ryan bit his lip, and handed a phone to Brendon. "Call Sarah," he said, "if you need me, I'll be in the kitchen." He said, and turned to leave the room.

Brendon watched him leave, and picked up the phone, dialling Sarah's number, and hovering over the call button for a split second, before pressing it.

It rung once.

Twice.

Then she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hi, its Brendon." He said.

There was a pause.

"I'm sorry for running out of Starbucks." He apologised, trying to break the silence. "I should've stayed."

"It's fine," she said, "I probably would've done the same."

Brendon shrugged, then realising she couldn't see him, he spoke. "Still doesn't make it okay."

Sarah sighed. "Look, I'm sorry for not-"

"I found my soulmate." The words slipped out of his mouth without his permission, tumbling out uncontrollably. 

"Oh?"

"It's Ryan." He said. Better rip off the bandage right?

Sarah didn't say anything for a while. Then she spoke. "Ryan-?" 

"Ross." Brendon confirmed.

There was another, pregnant pause. "Does he-? Why-"

Brendon sighed. "His timer went off when we were nineteen."

"When you guys met?" She supplied.

"Yeah." He said.

There was another pause. "Why the fuck didn't you tell-"

Okay, put the bandage back on. "I'm sorry, I-" Brendon started.

"Don't fucking interrupt me," Sarah interrupted, "and apologise to Ryan, not me."

"I-"

"I'm not finished!" Sarah was yelling. "Where are you?"

"I- uhh," he looked around, "one of Ryan's places I think."

"You better go out there, apologise, and be the world's best soulmate," she said, "otherwise I'm letting all of the magazines know exactly how tiny your dick is."

"Sarah-" Brendon started.

"Don't 'Sarah' me, Brendon!" She yelled. "You didn't speak to your soulmate for eight years!"

"I didn't know he was my-" Brendon defended.

"I don't care!" She yelled. "You knew you were his! How selfish can you-"

"I get it," Brendon yelled back, "I was a dick, I still am a dick." He sighed. "A day didn't go by where I didn't think of him."

"And you didn't think to tell me?"

Brendon didn't reply. "How's the soulmate?" He asked after a while.

"David's great." She said. "We've texted."

"I'm glad." He said.

There was another pause. Then Sarah sighed. "Look, we had fun those four years we had together," she said, "but I know you want nothing more than to hang up this phone and run into Ryan's arms."

"Sarah-"

"Bren," she interrupted, "listen, this is your choice." She paused again. "I have no emotional attachment to David, apart from the soulmate thing, so if you want to continue being my husband, then I'm fine with that." She sighed. "But if you want to be with Ryan, then I don't mind getting to know David better."

"It'll be easier," Brendon reasoned, "to be with you."

"No," Sarah said, "listen to your heart, not your head."

"What if Ryan won't take me back?" He asked.

"Then you're going to have to prove it to him, or die alone." She said. "I'm not your back up plan."

"I'm sorry." He said.

"Don't apologise to me." She repeated.

Brendon rubbed his forehead. "I think we owe it to ourselves to be with our soulmates." He said.

"You can just say you want to be with Ryan," he could hear her smiling through the phone, "you don't need to sugar coat it."

Brendon grinned. "Can we still be friends?" He asked.

"Best friends." She agreed.

"Thank you, Sarah." Brendon said.

"Goodbye, Bren."

And the phone was hung up.

Brendon didn't move immediately, he just sat there, in what was presumably Ryan's guest bed. The whole atmosphere of the place seemed warm, familiar, as if he had been living in a hotel, and just came back home.

You did just live in a hotel.

Shut up, brain.

He rubbed his eyes and climbed out of the bed. 

It was not difficult to find the kitchen, the hose was open plan, and the smell of bacon had the magical ability to attract Brendon to its origin. He walked in to find Ryan flipping over bacon, and fuddling with the coffee machine.

Brendon sat down at the breakfast bar, and was immediately given a plate of food and a coffee. He looked down at his plate.

The egg was flipped, but only left for a few seconds, so it was still runny in the middle. The bacon was crispy to the point of burning, and his coffee was black. He took a sip; no milk, tons of sugar. It was exactly how he liked it.

Brendon was speechless. "You remembered." He said, disbelieving.

Ryan looked at him strangely. "You're going to have to be more specific, dude." He said, gabbing the salt out of his pantry.

Brendon's eyes followed him around the room. "You remembered how I like my bacon and eggs cooked, and how I take my coffee."

Ryan rolled his eyes, but blushed nonetheless. "You used to be hopeless in the morning," he explained, "it was the only thing that would wake you up. I swear I could do that in my sleep." Ryan promised, still slightly flushed.

Brendon sighed, and the two fell into an awkward silence, not really knowing what to do. 

"So," Brendon began, not really knowing what he was going to say, "are we going to talk about it."

Ryan raised an eyebrow at him, and sipped his coffee. "About what?" He asked, tilting his head slightly.

"About us!" Brendon said, voice raising. "About soulmates, about this!" He pointed to his timer.

Ryan shrugged. "I came to term to us not being together years ago," he explained, "it sucked, it still sucks, but it's something I've learnt to live with." He sighs. "Besides, you've still got a wife."

"And?" Brendon asked.

Ryan hesitated, then put his mug on the counter behind him, and turned to face Brendon over the bar. "And, you get to make a choice."

Brendon groaned, and slammed his face onto the counter. "Why do I have to make all of the choices?" He asked to no one in particular.

Ryan looked puzzled at this. "What are you talking about?" He asked, suspiciously.

"Oh, I- uhh," Brendon faulted, not knowing what to say. "I just- umm,"

"Sarah gave you the same options." Ryan finished for him. Brendon nodded, and Ryan sighed again. "What did you choose?" He asked.

"I didn't-" Brendon started.

"Bren," Ryan said, surprising both of them with the nickname, "if Sarah is anything like me, she would've not hung up the call until you've made a choice.

Brendon sighed, and stared at his eggs. "She said I had 24 hours," he lied, "then for me to call her."

"Bullshit," Ryan said, folding his arms, "absolute bullshit." 

Brendon looked up into Ryan's stony face. "Look," he started, not really knowing what he was going to say.

"If you don't want to tell me, fine." Ryan said, moving away from the counter and out of the kitchen. "But now I'm giving you 24 hours or you're out of my-"

"I chose you."

Ryan froze in his tracks, shocked. He turned around slowly to face Brendon, eyes wide. He swallowed, then walked back over to the counter, right in front of Brendon. "You, you chose-" Ryan began, stuttering slightly.

"You." Brendon confirmed, sounding way more confident than he felt.

Ryan squinted at him, head tilting slightly to the side. "Why?"

Brendon chuckled dryly. "You'd get scared off if I told you the truth." He countered.

"Too bad." Ryan said, folding his arms, clear he wasn't leaving any time soon.

Brendon groaned, running over all of the lies he could say that Ryan would never believe. He decided to start from the beginning, so that Ryan wouldn't make him finish. "When I married Sarah-"

Ryan shook his head, cutting Brendon off. "I want to know why you- why-" he paused, gathering his thoughts. "I don't need to know your life story."

Brendon mumbled his first response before speaking up to avoid more angry looks. "When I got married- don't interrupt me Ryan, I swear to god," he put up a hand to stop Ryan from speaking before moving on. "When I got married to Sarah, I wasn't thinking about the fancy food, or the happy guests, or even my beautiful, amazing bride." He sighed again, rubbing his eyes as if he was trying to avoid tears. "I was thinking about the one guest that didn't RSVP, or replied at all. I was thinking about how fucking different things would be if my timer went off at the same time as yours. I was thinking, about how I knew I would've still been happy, either way."

Ryan looked at him for a long moment, taking in everything he had said. Then he spoke. "And you didn't think, for a second, that we might have been soulmates?" 

Brendon rubbed is palms into his head. "Ryan, this is the problem!" He said, standing up. "I didn't let myself think clearly! I was with Sarah, you and I had broken up! I didn't let myself think that there was any possibility that we should've ended up together, or that I was hopelessly hung up on you." Brendon breathed in and out deeply, staring Ryan straight into his shockingly dark eyes.

Ryan leaned further forward, over the bench top. "You, were hung up on me?" He asked, low, almost daring. Brendon didn't answer. "You were hung up on me?" He asked louder, angry. "What about me? You broke up with me, Brendon Urie." He said, eyes burning. "I got dumped by my own fucking soulmate, the one person who was supposed to love me by condition, how the fuck do you think that that made me feel?" He asked, now yelling. "I hadn't talked to my own soulmate in about ten years, how the fuck did you ever expect me to believe someone was capable of loving me? If my own soulmate dumped me." 

Brendon looked straight back at him, heartbreak etched across his face. "Ryan, I didn't know- the time wasn't right." 

Ryan chewed on his lip. "Your timer has gone off, is the time right now? Is it suddenly convenient for you? Thirteen years Brendon!" He jerked his head away from him, heading for the kitchen exit.

Brendon called after him. "Ryan, I'm-"

Ryan turned around once he got to the doorway. "Oh, you're sorry are you?" He asked sarcastically, facing Brendon with enough fire to burn down his house. "Where were the sorrys for the past eight years!" He retorted, recrossing his arms.

"Ryan, I-" Brendon started hopelessly.

"You know what?" Ryan said, leaning against the doorway. "I don't even mind that you broke up with me, that was your choice." He said, voice low and angry. "But you could've at least stayed in touch, maybe sent a text once in a while."

Brendon sputtered. "I invited you to my wedding!" He defended.

"Oh, dead silence for nearly four years, then an invite to my soulmates wedding." Ryan interrupted. "I'm so ungrateful."

"Ryan, I'm sorry." Brendon yelled over him.

"Oh yeah?" Ryan retorted. "For what?" Brendon didn't say anything. Ryan nodded. "That's what I thought." And he turned to leave.

"Ryan, wait!" Brendon said, brain finally catching up.

Ryan turned, angrier than ever. "What Brendon? What could you possibly want to say now?"

"I'm sorry, Ryan." Brendon repeated. "I'm sorry for being afraid of the public until my timer was at zero. I'm sorry for being a dick about not speaking to you. I'm sorry about thinking about you, but never thinking to text you. I'm sorry that I chose you over Sarah, even if that is not what you want." Brendon was breathing in big heaves, voice choking slightly.

Ryan's eyes softened for a moment, and he walked a tiny bit away from the doorway, closer to Brendon. "I-" he stopped, thinking. "I never said that isn't what I want." Ryan said bravely, looking up, into his face.

His eyes widened, shock at what Ryan had said, written clearly all over his face. Brendon stared at him for a little longer, always seeming on the edge of speech.

Ryan kept talking before he could say anything. "I never said I didn't want you." He repeated, walking further forward. "I said I'm angry that you're only after me now that you know for a fact I'm your soulmate," he reached the counter again, and lent on it, "I didn't- I don't know if you want me, just because of the soulmate thing, or if you want me for me." Ryan swallowed. They both seemed to be holding back tears.

"Ryan," Brendon said softly, leaning forward to grab onto his shoulder, "I've always liked you, for you." He said, gently coaching Ryan's face up to look at his. "Even before I knew we were soulmates, I couldn't stop thinking about you, and your adorable face." They both had tears running down their faces.

Ryan chuckled slightly, leaning into the touch. "I knew you were just in it for the looks." He joked.

Brendon laughed, tears still silently streaming down his face. "Don't be so sure, Ry," he said, nickname slipping easily of the tongue, "I've seen your old MySpace photos." He teased.

Ryan shoved Brendon, forcing him to let go of his shoulder. "Ugh, Brendon!" Ryan yelled. "I actually hate you." 

Brendon smiled. "No you don't." He said matter-of-factly, walking towards him.

"No," Ryan agreed, also stepping forward, "I don't."

Neither of them knew who leaned in first, but somehow Ryan's arms ended up around Brendon's neck, lips pressed together. Brendon grinned into the kiss, settling his hands on Ryan's waist, pulling him impossibly closer. The kiss was long, and happy; both members smiling until kissing became hard. Eventually, Ryan pulled back for air, arms still wrapped around Brendon, and faces still inches from each other's. 

Ryan looked at him, slightly dazed, and dopey. Brendon grinned at him. "Hi." He said.

"Hi." Ryan blushed back.

Brendon licked his lips slightly, but didn't say anything, just kept grinning at him. The two stared at each other with matching, starry eyed grins.

The moment was interrupted by Ryan's phone ringing. They didn't move for a second, then Brendon slowly released Ryan's hips, and Ryan removed his arms from around Brendon's neck. Ryan grabbed his phone from off the counter, and answered it. Brendon moved back onto the stool he ate breakfast on.

"Uhh hu," Ryan said into the phone, scratching the back of his neck, "yep, uhh, now's not a great time." He told whoever was on the other end of the phone. "Yeah, I'm occupied at the moment." He turned to Brendon who was raising his eyebrows up and down suggestively, while making obscene hand gestures. Ryan made a face. "Actually never mind, now is a great time." He told the other end of the phone, grinning at Brendon's heartbroken face. "Yeah, I'll see you in twenty minutes." He said, and hung up the phone, smirking at Brendon.

"What was that for?" Brendon asked, betrayal written across his face.

Ryan shrugged. "You have a few things to do." He said.

"Like?" Brendon prompted.

"Like moving your stuff out of wherever you were staying to avoid Sarah, and moving it to either your house or this house." He finished. "And you also need to decide what you'll be telling the press." He added.

Brendon groaned. "Fuck the press." He said, slamming his head onto the breakfast bar.

Ryan pet Brendon's hair consolingly. "At least you're not really in the celebrity spotlight, like Taylor Swift or someone." He reasoned, stroking his hair.

Brendon snorted. "Every fucking time she releases a single, they think she's found her soulmate." He said, head still on the table.

Ryan smiled down at him. "It's still something you need to do." He said. 

Brendon lifted his head up to look Ryan in the eyes. "I love you." He said, mirroring Ryan's smile.

"I love you too." Ryan said, planting a quick kiss on Brendon's lips. "I'll be back in two hours." He said, kissing him again.

"Bye Ryro!" Brendon called after him.

***

When Ryan came back, Brendon was lying on his couch, still in pyjamas. His feet were in the air and he was fiddling with his phone, a concentrated expression on his face, that Ryan did not find endearing.

Not at all.

"Did you do any of the things I asked you to do?" Ryan asked, exasperated.

Brendon looked away from his phone, and his face lit up. "Ryan!" Brendon exclaimed, jumping up. "I did everything you asked me to do!" He said, a little too proudly.

Ryan raised his eyebrows. "In your pyjamas?" He asked.

"I asked my friend to get my stuff for me." Brendon explained, sitting back down on the couch. "Don't want the people to see me moving stuff out of my house." He added, bitterly.

Ryan sighed and walked over to join him on the couch. "So," he said, looking at Brendon, "what are we going to do?" He asked.

Brendon stared, blankly, at him. "What?"

"Jesus," Ryan groaned, putting a hand to his forehead, "what are we going to do about the press?"

"Oh!" Brendon said, sitting up straighter. "We're going to tell the truth."

Now it was Ryan's turn to stare blankly. "The what?" He asked, making sure he hadn't misheard.

"We are going to tell the full, and total truth, and nothing but the truth." Brendon repeated confidently, grinning up at him.

Ryan grimaced. "What do you mean?" He asked.

"We can talk about how your timer went off first," Brendon said excitedly, and loudly as to drown out anything that Ryan was trying to say, "then we dated, and broke up, then I married Sarah, then she found her guy, then mine went off when I saw you under that bridge." He said this all very quickly, and loudly. (Seriously dude when do you have time to breathe)

Ryan continued to stare at Brendon. "And- and you think that that would get us less attention?" He asked seriously.

Brendon shrugged. "I think we're going to get a lot of press at the start, but in the long run-" he trailed off, staring at something on the wall.

Ryan grinned at him, just realising he missed the times when Brendon would just phase out of a conversation and stop talking in the middle of a sentence. "In the long run-?" Ryan prompted, bringing Brendon back to the couch.

"What?" Brendon said, slightly dazed. "Oh, I uhh," he looked at Ryan, "in the long run, I think it's easier to remember the truth than the made up story."

Ryan nodded thoughtfully. "Well,it's your choice," he said, shuffling closer to Brendon, "you're going to have to face them the most."

"But you're going to be dragged back into the spotlight." He pointed out, sadly.

Ryan smiled at him, and squeezed his hand. "Worth it." He said.

Brendon grinned back at him, cheeks slightly pink. Ryan moved towards him in his seat, pressing up against him, and pushing Brendon so he was flat on his back on the couch. 

"I like where this is going." Brendon commented approvingly.

"Don't ruin it." Ryan growled back, eyes looking Brendon up and down.

He swung one of his legs over the other side of Brendon's hips, and sat up, smirking down at him. Ryan leaned forward to kiss him, and slowly started to roll his hips over Brendon's, making them both moan every few seconds. Brendon bit down on Ryan's lip, stifling a whimper, as Ryan kept rolling and grinding onto him.

"Oh sweet Jesus, Ryan." Brendon moaned, gasping for breath.

Ryan stopped for a moment, just sitting there against Brendon's obvious erection. "Hey, Brendon," he purred, making the other whimper, "shut the fuck up." He whispered against Brendon's lips.

Brendon started to kiss him again, thrusting upwards, trying to get as much friction as possible between him and Ryan. Ryan happily reciprocated, leaving his lips to trail down Brendon's neck to suck a hickey there.

"Ahh, fuck! Ryan-" Brendon gasped.

"I don't remember you being this loud at nineteen." Ryan grinned against his neck.

"I don't remember you being this good at nineteen." Brendon shot back.

"Oh yeah?" Ryan said, removing his mouth off Brendon's neck and moving back up to his lips. "Well, I don't remember you being such a-"

The doorbell rang.

"Fuck!" Brendon groaned (not in the sexual way) and pushed Ryan off him.

Ryan clung onto Brendon, sending them both tumbling off the couch and onto the floor. "Ow." Ryan complained, rubbing his head. "What the fuck, Brendon?"

Brendon didn't reply. "Fuck!" He groaned, burying his face in Ryan's shoulder.

"What is it?" Ryan asked, eyes darting over to the door.

"That'll be my friend, dropping my stuff off." Brendon explained with regret.

Ryan glared at him. "Have fun answering it with your boner." He said, standing up and walking away, to where Brendon assumed the bathroom was.

"I hate you!" Brendon called after him. He got up and answered the door, rather awkwardly with only one leg showing, other hidden by the wall. He exchanged a few words with his friend, carefully avoiding talking about who owned the house. He waved goodbye to the man, and closed the door behind him.

Brendon sighed, and walked towards the living room, boner well and truly gone. Ryan was not yet out of the bathroom, or wherever he went, so Brendon pulled out his phone and redialled Sarah's number. 

"Back again, I see?" Sarah asked, suggestively, clearly joking.

"Indeed," Brendon laughed, "I need to talk to you about the press."

"And the divorce papers." Sarah reminded him.

"The divorce-" Brendon's eyes widened, although Sarah could not see, "this is weird." He commented.

Sarah chuckled. "I doubt most divorce conversations are like this."

"It would been so much easier if I stay with you." Brendon commented.

Sarah sighed. "It wouldn't be the same," she pointed out, "it was already not perfect, you were missing Ryan too much."

"Yeah, I'd miss him even more if we stayed together." Brendon resigned.

"Well, what were you going to talk about?" Sarah prompted.

"What? Oh, yeah," Brendon blinked, "I was going to tell the press the truth, how you met your soulmate and stuff, are you okay with that?" He asked.

Sarah didn't respond for a while. "The truth?" She clarified.

"Yeah, Ryan said the same thing." Brendon said.

"Whatever, I don't mind." She said. "Are you going to approach the press or are you going to wait for them to come to you?" 

"I think I need to talk to a person about that?" He said, not really sure. "I don't know, I'll talk to someone who knows that shit." 

"Okay, when do you want to meet to sign the divorce papers?" She asked. "We also need to talk about selling the house, and splitting the money, and-"

"Take what you want," Brendon interrupted, "I have too much of it anyway."

"I think we need to talk to someone, I'm not going to do that." She said.

"I'd be easier if you would." He tempted.

"You are hardly the person to be talking about easy routes, future Mr. Ross." Sarah teased.

"Shut up." Brendon said, infinitely glad she couldn't see his blush.

"Is that it then?" She asked.

"Umm, yeah, I think so." Brendon said, hearing the door behind him open.

"Okay."

"See you." Brendon smiled.

"Bye."

The phone clicked.

Brendon turned around to see Ryan, standing there, smiling down at him. Brendon put him phone down and looked back at him. "Do you wanna go out?" He asked brightly.

Ryan raised his eyebrows at him. "You're Brendon Urie." 

"You're Ryan Ross?" Brendon replied, confused.

Ryan sighed. "No, I mean you're Brendon Urie."

Brendon looked even more confused. "And you're Ryan-"

"The same Brendon Urie with over a million fans, all over the planet." Ryan reminded.

"So?" Brendon asked.

"You'll be recognised if we go out." Ryan rephrased bluntly.

"So?"

"You might be recognised by people who know both of us." Ryan continued, as if explaining this to a child.

"So?"

"Jesus Christ, Brendon!" Ryan yelled. "The public? Won't it be suspicious?"

Brendon shrugged. "Who cares?" He asked.

Ryan looked at him for a long moment. "You've changed, from when we were nineteen."

"We both have." Brendon pointed out.

There was a long silence. "Okay," Ryan said, grabbing his keys and Brendon's hand, "lets go."

***

Trouble in Paradise?

Brendon Urie, lead singer and lead instrumentalist of pop rock band Panic! At The Disco, was spotted with ex band member (and supposed ex lover), Ryan Ross, today. Urie's wife, Sarah, was also spotted with a handsome dark haired man in a Starbucks. Read more...

Ryan scrolled past many similarly worded articles, each one making his heart sink a little further. At the sound of someone entering the room, he looked up to find Brendon, also on his phone.

"You will not believe how many people have asked for an interview." Brendon said, walking over to sit beside Ryan.

Ryan shrugged. "It doesn't matter how many people have asked, just pick one and do the interview." 

Brendon groaned. "How am I supposed to know which one to pick?"

Ryan shrugged. "Ask your PR manager, or whoever the fuck is in charge of this shit."

"But she's already mad at me!" He said, adjusting his position so his head was resting on Ryan's lap.

Ryan looked away from his phone, down at Brendon. "How could you possibly know that?" He asked, voice softening.

Brendon didn't reply, instead he fiddled with his phone for a bit, and held it up for Ryan to hear. The sound that came out of it sounded like robotic llama mating calls (Brendon's words, not Ryan's). "She left seven of those." Brendon explained, after noticing Ryan's face. "You know, after-"

"The articles." Ryan finished. "Yeah," he said, "she's pissed at you."

Brendon sighed and dropped his phone on the coffee table. "Should I just pick one I've interviewed with before?" He asked.

"Yeah, that's probably best." Ryan agreed, allowing Brendon to take his free hand.

They stayed there in silence, Ryan scrolling through his phone, and Brendon lying on his lap, playing with Ryan's hand. "You have nice hands." Brendon commented distractedly, continuing to play with them.

Ryan hummed in acknowledgment, bringing their joined hands up to kiss them. Brendon smiled at their joined hands. "You're adorable." He said, going back to playing with Ryan's fingers.

Ryan turned slightly pink. "Shut up."

"No," Brendon said, pulling Ryan's phone away, "you're so cute, and adorable, and pretty, and-"

"One more compliment and I swear I will throw you off this couch." Ryan threatened.

Brendon was silenced for a few seconds. "You know, in most relationships, being made to go onto the couch is a bad thing, not off it."

Ryan looked down at him, eyebrows raised. "Do you want to sleep on the couch?" He asked.

"No." Brendon replied.

"Good." Ryan said, going back to his phone.

***

"Okay, recording in three, two, one!" Somebody clapped, and the interviewer started to introduce herself and Brendon.

Brendon was nervous. Very Nervous. He already knew all the questions she was going to ask, like most interviews he was given a guide of how the interview was generally going to go, but nevertheless he was still fidgeting in his seat.

"…and I am here with Brendon Urie, from Panic! At the Disco." The cheery reporter said, gesturing towards Brendon. 

He waved. "Happy to be here." He said, already feeling unprepared for the interview.

"So, Brendon," the interviewer (who's name escaped Brendon) started, "are the rumours true?" She asked eagerly, leaning towards him.

He laughed nervously, leaning back slightly. "Uhm, which ones?" He asked, forcing out a chuckle.

"Well," she started, "is it true that you and Sarah are splitting up?" She asked, voice lowering ever so slightly.

"I- uhh," Brendon took this moment to realise he had never said that they were divorcing out loud, "yes, we are moving on from each other." He said, the reality not really sinking in on even him.

The interviewer looked surprised, but moved on. "Can I ask why you guys are getting a divorce, is there tension between you two?"

Brendon chuckled a bit. "Uh no, no hard feeling between Sarah and I, she's still my best friend, and will probably stay my best friend forever." He said, delaying the full story for as long as possible.

The lady persisted. "So then why are you splitting up? Or is it confidential?"

"Uhh," he hesitated, he seemed to be doing a lot of that in this interview, "no, it's a long story actually. We uhh," his eyes briefly darted around the room they were in, "our timers ran out."

"Oh?" The reporter sat up straighter, looking interested. "What happened?"

"Well, I hadn't looked at my wrist in a while, and I assume Sarah hadn't either, but who knows," Brendon surprised even himself by how easily he told the story, "we met him at a Starbucks, and I kind of panicked and ran out."

"So it was more like Panic! At the Starbucks?" The girl offered jokingly.

He actually laughed at that. "I guess so, yeah."

The girl fiddled with her bracelet for a second, before turning back to Brendon. "So, to my understanding, you were seen with Ryan Ross, an ex band member, for the first time in a while."

"That is true, yes." Brendon confirmed, nodding.

"So how does he fit into all of this?" She asked, leaning toward him again.

"Heheh," he chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair, "I- uhh-" he hesitated for a moment, composing himself, before launching into the story. "When, uhh, Spencer introduced me to Ryan when we were nineteen, when Panic was nothing more than an idea, Ryan's uhh," he scratched the back off his neck, "Ryan's timer went off, when we met."

The reporter drew in a sharp breath, barely audible. "But yours didn't?" She asked.

"But mine didn't." Brendon nodded. "Anyway, Ryan and I dated for a while, but me, being a scared little bitch in my early twenties, didn't want to tell the public until my timer went off, which at that point was some thirteen years into the future."

"So has your timer gone off?" She asked, trying to move the interview alone.

"And that's where things get weird," Brendon continued, "about two weeks after Sarah had found her soulmate, or whatever, I had basically isolated myself from all of my friends and lived in a hotel." Brendon paused (again really?). "And then I ran into Ryan underneath a bridge on my way back to my room, and my timer went off."

"So Ryan is your soulmate?" The interviewer asked, disbelieving.

"Yes." Brendon confirmed.

"The Ryan Ross? Ex member of Panic! At the Disco?" She clarified.

"Is there another one I should be made aware of?" He asked, chuckling slightly to himself.

"So your old band member was- is your soulmate, and you didn't realise?" She asked, brows furrowed.

Brendon shrugged. "I think I probably knew subconsciously, but I never really allowed myself to think that, most of the thirteen years since I met Ryan, I've been with Sarah."

"What do you mean by, you 'subconsciously knew'?" She asked.

"Well," he cringed at himself, not really knowing whether he should tell this story or not, "there were some times, when I was with Sarah, where is was painfully obvious I was yearning for someone else." Then Brendon realised that made him sound like a dick. "Don't get me wrong, Sarah's great, and she is beautiful, and my friend, and I love her, but I don't know if I really loved her in the right way."

"Can you explain one of the times your subconscious 'knew' Ryan was your soulmate?" The lady asked, leaning back into her chair.

"I guess on my-" Brendon stopped suddenly, realising something. "Sarah's gonna kill me, she doesn't know this story yet."

"What is it?" The reporter asked eagerly.

"On my wedding day, I invited Ryan," Brendon began, trying to think, "but for obvious reasons, he was a no show. Anyway, all through reception, and, although I'm ashamed to admit, some of the ceremony, I wasn't thinking of my amazing bride, I was thinking of Ryan."

"Who turned out to be your soulmate." Finished the interviewer.

"Who turned out to be my soulmate." Brendon repeated, nodding.

"Well, thank you for joining us today," began the woman, before becoming background noise in Brendon's head.

As the two signed off, and his team pulled him out of the interview room, he began to feel very relieved. The interview was going to be posted on their YouTube channel and their website, so it was easily accessible to young people all over the world. This way, he could say it once then never again

As he was driving home, Brendon realised people would still chase him for interviews, then Ryan, and Sarah, and possibly even David. The thought of someone in the general public being dragged into this mess made him feel nauseous, so he pulled over, stopping the car. He took a few deep breaths, calming himself, before calling Ryan.

"Hello?" Ryan answered tentatively.

"Hi, it's me." Brendon smiled at the sound of Ryan's tired, slightly slowed voice.

"Hi me, it's Ryan." He replied, smile audible through the phone.

Brendon grinned back, although Ryan couldn't see him. "Dad jokes before fatherhood, you've reached an all new level of lame."

Ryan giggled. "Yeah, because I was so cool before."

"Maybe in an alternate universe, your eyeliner and five billion scarves were really in." Brendon teased.

Ryan giggled, which Brendon was unashamed to admit he found adorable, and the two fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments. "How did the interview go?" Ryan asked after a while.

Brendon sighed. "I don't know," he said truthfully, "I tried to explain everything, so the media wouldn't do anymore interviews."

"That's not going to happen." Ryan laughed bitterly.

"Yeah," Brendon agreed, "they won't let this story go easily."

"Yeah."

There was another silence. "Well, I'm on my way." Brendon said, pulling the car out of park.

"Drive safe." Ryan said. "If I'm not awake by the time you get home, dinner is in the fridge."

"Thank you." Brendon said gratefully, stomach rumbling.

"I love you." Ryan said.

"'Love you too." 

"Bye."

"Bye." Brendon hung up.

***

RYDEN IS REAL?

Earlier today, an interview was posted, where Brendon released information about the true nature of his relationship with ex Panic! At the Disco member, Ryan Ross… read more

SARAH SMILES? Not for long.

The SHOCKING truth behind Brendon Urie, Panic! At the Disco frontman, and Sarah Urie, and you'll never guess who it involves… read more

This, and millions of notifications greeted Ryan when he opened up Instagram today. His comments were already full of Brendon's name, even before they got back together.

He also got texts from friends and family members, and emails from companies asking for interviews. Why he even still bothers to have his email connected to his phone is beyond him, he didn't want to be reading them.

"Hey Ry, did you hear?" Brendon asked he walked into his bedroom. "We've been in a secret love affair for fifteen years according to this magazine." 

Ryan raised his eyebrows. "How could I have missed that?" He asked sarcastically.

Brendon laughed, and walked over to the closet, pulling it his stuff. "I'm going over to my house to talk to Sarah about the divorce, and selling."

"Okay, but you're making dinner." Ryan called after Brendon as he left the room. 

He continued to scroll through different social media sites, passed articles mentioning his name. His eyes glazed over the comments.

Panic!atthebrendonurie: wHat

PastelBrendon: NO BRENDON/SARAH IS MY OTP

i_am_jesus: called it

falloutbrallon: they're shitting us

Bandomeme666: someone cheated on someone (it was deffo brendon)

For some reason, the last comment irked Ryan. A lot. Knowing this probably wasn't a good idea, he typed out a reply.

therealryanross: @bandomeme666 how about you watch the fucking interview before you go making judgements like that

Immediately, the replies start rolling in.

Northern.downpour.of.my.tears: YES RYRO

ryrocheezwhiz: #protective boyfriend

Satan_of_suburbia: he protec but he also attac

Ryan switched off his phone and lent back into his bed a little further, sighing. He was an ex member of a semi successful emo band, he shouldn't have this much publicity. 

His phone made a noise, forcing him to look at it.

Brendonurie: @therealryanross ryan roasts

Ryan smiled slightly, and typed back.

therealryanross: @brendonurie keep your eyes on the road babe

The shitstorm that followed in his Instagram comments was really a sight to behold.

***

"Ryan." Brendon called.

No reply.

"Ryan." He called again, slightly louder.

Again, no reply.

"Ryan!" He yelled, echoing around the house.

"What?" Came Ryan's voice, skidding around the corner to meet him.

"What is a synonym for lgbt?" Brendon asked, not looking up from his book.

Ryan looked at him in astonishment. "What?"

"What is a synonym for lgbt?" Brendon repeated, tone not changing.

"Did you seriously ask me to come down stairs for something you can google in about two seconds?" Ryan asked, blinking.

"No, that doesn't fit," Brendon said, running his finger across the crossword, "too many letters."

Ryan shook his head. "I don't know," he said, looking around, "queer? Gay? Brendon Urie? Since when did you start doing crosswords?"

Brendon shrugged. "Since this magazine said I met you for the second time in a gay, nudist bar while solving the crossword."

"I don't that scenario is even possible."

"Well, apparently you confessed your love here so obviously I mustn't mean anything to you." Brendon accused, grinning up at him.

"I will love you as long as you don't go into nudist gay bars." Ryan said, taking his hand and sitting down beside him.

Brendon grimaced. "If you have a problem with my lifestyle, you have a problem with me."

Ryan started to laugh, shoving him, he declared. "I hate you!" As Brendon giggled manically.

"Love you too, Ry!" Brendon chuckled in return.

The two laughed their asses off until they were out of breath, and clutching stitched at their sides, grinning stupidly at each other.

"I love you." Ryan said softly, smiling at him.

Brendon smiled back, not answering immediately. "I'm not saying it a second time." He laughed, knowing he deserved the final push Ryan sent him to make him u off his seat.

"Fuck you!" Ryan replied, grinning like an idiot back at him.

So Ryan had a soulmate after all.

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? Comments? Pasta? :))


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